Guys, I’m turning twenty-three in two days!
How crazy is that.
It’s actually a bit of a bittersweet moment for me. I know most of you may think I’m still young and I have my whole life to live – well you’re right about that. At the same time, when I feel that I haven’t accomplished the goals that I planned for myself a year ago, I can’t help but feel lost in the direction I am meant to go.
I did the whole college thing.
I didn’t finish though because I wasn’t quite sure why I was there. I knew I had to be there since that’s what everyone was telling me to do but I had no idea what I wanted to accomplish with it. I was hoping that I would discover the profession I was meant to do while going through college. Sadly, I didn’t quite find it. Honestly, I was more frustrated and annoyed of being there and paying all this money to classes for this degree that I wasn’t interested in.
That’s when I really felt lost.
I didn’t want to disappoint anyone but I also wanted to do what I know would make me happy.
That alone is a whole other kind of stress.
I’m the type to dive my nose into a little bit of everything. My interest vary so much that it’s difficult for me to choose one thing I absolutely love because I find joy in just about everything.
How annoying is that lol.
I love learning new things but not by sitting in a class room for eight hours in a day. In my opinion, sitting in a classroom is such a waste of time. I would rather travel and learn through different cultures and experiences. That to me is true education …. unless you’re going to become a doctor or an architect then yes it’s better that you go to school (I’m sorry I couldn’t get you out of that one haha).
However, in this one year I have discovered more about myself since moving to Oregon a year ago than I have in the ten years that I lived in Florida. I’ve been more open to my personality and accepting the person I am. Which in turn has allowed me to become more at peace with myself. Also, this has allowed me to be more confident and understand the direction I want to lead my life towards.
Twenty – two was definitely a year of true discovery for me. Trust me, there was A LOT of tears, laughter, and self – reflection something I didn’t expect to happen during this period of my life. Mainly, I thought I already had “self – reflected” when moving across the country. Well, I guess the universe needed me to keep digging to find the answers I thought I had.
Most of us are trying to live and enjoy the most important years of our lives but this is when we are at our most vulnerable. We are trying so hard to prove something to ourselves as well as to the world around us but we lose out on some of our happiness. We are treated like we are suppose to follow only one path for success and any other alternative is seen as a negative. Like go to college straight out of high school, intern at well known company, and work your way to the top.
I’m not saying this is a bad thing. It’s actually very admirable to commit to something from the start and still enjoy it ten years later something I never saw in myself. This is not because I’m not capable, I know if I put effort and hard work towards that goal I could very much accomplish greatness.
The thing is that’s not the life I want for myself. This path just wouldn’t work for me and this is something I always knew about myself. I’m sure there are other people that feel the same way that this traditional path just isn’t want you want for your future.
People who don’t follow the “societal rules” are natural born leaders, in my opinion. The traditional world isn’t meant for us instead we are meant to do something greater. Sadly, finding that greatness can be difficult and lead to internal struggles.
When that moment strikes us and we begin to feel lost and have no idea in which direction to take I’ve learned in this past year it’s a sign it’s a time to step back from everything – from social media, friends, your job, basically life. The influences that surround us makes us believe that we are suppose to be in the same path as others when in reality, your path is suppose to lead you to somewhere meant just for you.
Shutting out this technological world from your life for just a few days or even a week is a good start. This can put into perspective what you really want for your life. If that means letting go of your job or certain friends or even your significant other it’s most likely your gut telling you that there is something better than this.
Just don’t look at being lost as a negative and don’t dwell in it for too long either because it’s just the universe trying to nudge you toward your goal.
You know, the dream you had for yourself but were too busy dwelling on the negatives and hesitating because of fear. Even if you’re absolutely terrified you just have to jump and believe that it’s all going turn out perfectly.
Just don’t blame the world for your problems take responsibility for whatever goes wrong because it’s going to happen, things won’t always go as planned. But things are NEVER going to change if you just sit around and complain that nothing good happens to you. Honestly, if that’s your mindset that’s exactly what’s going to happen – NOTHING.
When it’s something you passionately love you’ll be lead into the direction that can fulfill those goals and that makes all of this worth it.
There is a saying that my mom told me back in high school and that is that you have to truly hit rock bottom before you are able to build yourself back up … and if things are still going wrong well, then you’re still falling. In the end, when you finally land, it will be alright because you’re about to have an amazing adventure and the stars are about to align in a way you never imagined.
Before I started blogging I had an Etsy shop and my own website for handmade jewelry that I worked off and on for about two years. I enjoyed creating the jewelry and learning to build a business from the ground up. I starting taking that business seriously around this time last year and I had a pretty good business going and was consistently receiving orders which always made me smile.
As much as I enjoyed creating this business a part of me was never fully in love with it. I couldn’t tell you how it happened but it was around June and I just wasn’t inspired anymore. So I put all of it on pause and went to Hawaii to visit my dad. Something in me changed when I came back. I wanted to actually build a business from the ground up and commit to doing this without making excuse and doubting myself.
I wanted to do this for me, I wanted to build something that I could be proud of for myself.
Somehow along the way I stumbled upon blogging through Pinterest and it just unknowingly made sense for me to start writing. I’ve been loving it ever since and I don’t ever plan on stopping.
I fell in love.
See it all starts with taking a little step at a time toward whatever it is you believe you desire. Make sure you take a little bit of time out of your day to work on your dream. Try this. It doesn’t hurt, I promise. We all deserve greatness and if someone tells you that you don’t than you definitely deserve it more than anyone.
So for the journey, well I’ll say that it was all worth it even if it felt like hell because in the end you are able to rise higher than you ever thought possible. The message to my twenty -three year old self and to any of you lost souls out there is to fight like hell, cry as much as needed, and let everything out but also don’t dwell. Then, when you’re ready wipe those eyes, blow your nose, put on some music and dance till you feel inspired.
You are going to get through this and there’s going to be some rough moments but when you rise my beautiful friend, well, let’s just say you are going to be unstoppable. No one has to know your goals and how you’re going to achieve them. That is none of their business. Just write them down and keep it near you always as a reminder. This new beginning is coming and whatever you do don’t settle in the darkness that will surround you because you have other things to worry about, love.